At the dinner table last night, my dad was talking about how his favorite time of the day is eating with the family. That’s sweet and all and I to also enjoy that, but to be honest my favorite part of the day is going to bed (well given I’m lucky to live in a safe and warm place). I think I have the gift of sleeping, I can nap anywhere, anytime really and I don’t have to be necessarily tired (I could never imagine having insomnia).
Right before bed is when I get to daydream, I get to escape the world for awhile. I get to think about my day, or what I want to accomplish tomorrow or the years to come. Sometimes I think the world moves to fast, I’ve turned 17 yesterday and I’m still trying to figure out what I’d like to make of my life. Right before I fall asleep is when I get to slow down. I don’t know why, but the world has created a bunch of rite of passages in life that I’m expected to complete. It’s an endless cycle of what my life is suppose to be: be a kid, go to school, get into college, get a degree, get a job, get married, have kids, raise kids, grow old, retire and through out all that I’m suppose to experience happiness, sadness, anger, and struggle and that will be my life like all the people previous to me. Of course a lot of things are different now, (fortunately) being a girl in the 21st century and getting to choose my path, but it’s like I was born into a pre-made checklist that I have to fill out and complete before I die. And time moves so fast, and when I look around there are just walking zombies coexisting. Most people are just repeating their day. My biggest fear is being trapped in that monotonous cycle. (geez, I got kind of off topic)
Anyways going back to the reason why I love sleeping, it’s so wonderful to be bundled up in a warm blanket knowing that I’ve finished a day and tomorrow will be a new one. But because I love going to bed, there’s always a flip side, and that unfortunately is getting up in the morning. I hate getting up early, especially on school days, but there is a moment in between that I love: when you wake up and you don’t remember anything, like where you are, or all the worries and responsibilities you have, and your mind is just a blank space.