What happened?

On Wednesday when I finished writing in the SQUID notebook early, I was looking around the room and I saw the googly eyes on this Thor poster. This wasn’t my first time or second time noticing this, but almost everyday I see it and I laugh to myself. I don’t know who originally did it, but their small, lighthearted action brightens my day up every time I see it. But it got me wondering: when will I get bored of it? When will I stop finding it amusing every time I look at it? Then I made this connection about how as I’ve grown older, everything has seemed less exciting. I used to wake up early every morning, excited for another adventure. I used to wake up at 5 a.m. on Christmas morning, I used to run outside every time I heard the ice cream truck or one of my parents come home from work. I used to spend hours in my backyard looking for bugs and making mud pies or reenacting movies with my siblings. So what the hell happened?!! I don’t think things got less exciting, but instead that I’ve lost wonder. I understand that happiness changes as we get older, but it’s kind of depressing to reflect on how I’ve become a lifeless teenage zombie. I’ve realized I can’t just survive I actually have to live and dream when there is so much I can offer to the world. There is an endless amount of beauty surrounding me as well as things that need reform. I believe wonder drives humans to do the impossible and therefore is a necessity that shouldn’t be lost as we mature.

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